“Have you written anything about the children killed in Pakistan?” – Someone asked me.
“No” – I said with guilt.
My short answer did not seem to satisfy the question.
“I haven’t written much on anything.” – I said.
“You should write.” – Someone said.
“I will.” – I said.
I guess I write occasionally. I am an “occasional writer” just like occasional drinkers, occasional smokers, and occasional …… you know, people who do things occasionally.
The truth of the matter is that I wanted to write about the terrorist attack on army school near Peshawar killing hundreds of children and their educators, but …. But I could not bring myself to comprehend the agony and pain of those parents who lost their young children. I was not able to understand what kind of people were those who could look into innocent child’s eyes and shoot them in cold blood.
It was so sad, I simply could not bear to go through the painful process of gathering the emotions and putting it down on the laptop screen into words.
I do not know how to express the feeling of a mother who kept a child in her womb for nine months, made rigid sacrifices for years to nurture them into school going age and then have to burry a lifeless body of her child just because she wanted her child to get education. This is all senseless to me.
I could imagine a small child hiding under his class table paralyzed with fear and wanting to see his father one last time and ask him, “father you never told me B is for bullet and T is for Terrorist.”
All this child did was came to school, a safe place, to write the English exam.
I skipped writing about this incident because I did not wanted to go through the ABC of bullets, terrorists and dead children. Sometimes words cannot capture the emotion because the emotion is so immense that it does not come into the grasp of words and sentences. It’s like trying to grab air with bare hands.
They say the pen is mightier than the gun. I hope the children who survived that massacre will one day successfully finish their English lessons. One day they will learn the ABC of peace where B is for Brotherhood and T is for Together and then one day these survivors will pick up the pen to conquer over the gun.